SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T GO BACK

I've cited Just Cause 2 as one of my absolute favorite dumb fun sandbox games, great for when you just want to bang around, blow stuff up, and have silly, wacky fun.  It's more serious than Saints Row, more open and free for destruction than GTA, and graphically one of the more beautiful games out there.  Sure, the voice acting may be legendarily bad, and the plot is a thin veneer that just gives a half-assed reason to blow shit up, but that's all insignificant.  I own Just Cause 2 on PC, PS3, and XBox 360, and have hundreds of hours clocked in between the three.

And yet, I'd never played the original.  When the first Just Cause went on sale on Steam this week for $1.75, I figured it was high time I explored this series' roots.   This isn't a review by any stretch, just a slightly baffling comparison, as I sit here and wonder how something so awesome came out of something so...not awesome.

So one of the first things that I was unaware of until doing research for this article is that the original Just Cause was actually made for the previous generation, and spilled over into the current gen.  I only knew that it had been released for the XBox 360; I did not realize that it was also put out for Playstation 2 and the original XBox.  So this does take a little bit of wind out of my sails, but I still feel like juxtaposing the games just a wee bit.

One of the first things I noticed was that in Just Cause, Rico has a mullet.  The second thing I noticed was that the voice actors were all completely different!  This was rather jarring, as I've grown accustomed to Rico sounding like a dead ringer for Strong Bad, and Tom Sheldon sounding like Uncle Pey'j from Beyond Good & Evil, instead of Sully from Uncharted.  Strangely enough, I could not find a single voice cast list for the second game, only the first.  Even IMDB has a very vague list with no characters listed, and none of the principal actors.  However, being a huge fan of Burn Notice, I couldn't help but notice one major parallel, even if Burn Notice premiered a year after Just Cause came out:

THEY'RE EVEN WEARING THE SAME SHIRT!!!

Okay I kid, mostly.  I know Burn Notice didn't base Sam Axe off of a mediocre character from a low-rated video game, but it still makes me giggle.

So yeah, while I can't necessarily say that I wasted my money on Just Cause?  That's only because I paid less than two dollars for it.  I think if I'd paid anything over five, I might have felt ripped off.   While the second one is a staggeringly gorgeous game with tight controls, fluid physics (even if they're not at all realistic), and a rich game world, the original is just bland.  Honestly for being a PS2/XBox game, it looks pretty great, but comparing the PC and 360 versions to games of their caliber?  Talk about pathetic. 

It's hard to believe that this...

Is on the same console as THIS.

Graphical prowess aside, the game just isn't very fun.  The controls are unresponsive and clunky; Rico reacts a full second or two after any button input.  This can be fatal when trying to parachute from high places!  The missions were bland as shit, with terrible level design.  Gunplay is sloppy, unless you have one of the game's mounted guns.  At this point the game assumes you're retarded, and takes over for you.  Just Cause 2 has a little bit of auto-targeting, but this was ridiculous.  As long as you shoot in the general vicinity of your opponent, a big targeting circle will appear, and you'll instantly hit anything in that circle with pinpoint accuracy.

One thing that I did think was interesting between the two games was the evolution of Rico's grappling gun.  In the original, it's a novelty at best.  It's an item you can pick up at certain points, and use to hook onto cars.  You latch on, parasail behind them, and can slowly reel yourself in.  In Just Cause 2?   Almost the entire game's mechanics revolve around the grappling hook that is at your side from the second you start the game.  It's how you get around, it's how you fight; it's completely integral to the game.  Whoever made that decision?  You, sir or madam, are a genius, and I thank you.

You can't really do anything like this in the first game.

So yeah, if you liked the second one, and you're thinking to yourself "Hm, I want to see this game's origins and really see the roots that it came from", don't.   Just don't.  It's a bland, dull game that basically left me wondering how the hell did THIS got a sequel, let alone one as badass and fun as Just Cause 2.

And now in closing, since this really was kind of a shit article I just threw together because I wanted to say something about the two games, here's a video of me fucking around in Just Cause 2, showing off how awesome it can be.  I highly recommend fullscreening it, to view it in all its 1080p high definition glory.