GAME-A-WEEK - COSTUME QUEST

This week I finally get around to playing Double Fine Production's cute Halloween-themed game, Costume Quest.  When monsters come out to steal the neighborhood's candy and kidnap your sibling, it's up to you and a few new friends to don your costumes and save the day!

BREAKING FREE OF THE CONSOLE WARS

Since the dawn of home console video games, there has always been war.  Bitter rivals competing head to head for your living room space.  There were minor skirmishes early on, with Atari vs Commodore, and the NES stomped the Sega Master System into the ground.  The first real war erupted when the Super Nintendo went head-to-head with the Sega Genesis, and it was bloody.  Lines were drawn.  Friendships destroyed.  Controllers broken.  Blast processing overhyped.  In the end, the Genesis held on and fought the good fight, but the SNES eventually won.  Since then, every generation has had its console wars.  The past few years have mostly seen Sony and Microsoft in an embittered Cold War, with Nintendo ineffectually waggling its sticks around at them, menacingly. 

The problem is that we as gamers and consumers never really had options.  A console is a long term investment, a heavy chunk of change that would last you 5-7 years.  You could pick a side and become a raving fanboy (or girl), you could save up your money and buy multiple consoles, or you could just opt out, build a gaming rig, and become a PC gamer.  Either way, there was nothing in between.  There were very few alternatives to the mainstream, and those we had either flopped pathetically, or just became short-lived beloved oddities (We love you and miss you, Sega Dreamcast).  Even these oddities were an expensive investment.  We never had anything cheaper, smaller, or more convenient. 

Until now.   

GAME-A-WEEK - CONTAINMENT: THE ZOMBIE PUZZLER

Zombies.   Puzzle games.  If I had to pick the two genres least likely to mesh together, I think those might be it.  I've never played Tetris and thought about the undead horde.  Bejeweled never made me think the green gems might eat my brains.   However, apparently someone at Bootsnake Games thought it could be done, and set out to make it a reality.  So, do these genres band together for survival, or does this game need a headshot to put it down?   This week, I sat down to find out.

GAME-A-WEEK - HOTLINE MIAMI

This week, I will be taking a look at one of the more controversial titles out there right now, Hotline Miami.  It's a hyper-violent action game that the creators proudly admit is heavily inspired by the movie Drive.  The game is being called a "murder simulator" by critics.  I have to admit, I wasn't really interested in playing this game, as much as I was curious to see what all the hype was about.

HOLY CRAP WE HAVE A HEADER!

Hey look!  Instead of just text saying "The Cranky Old Gamer" and a profile icon of Fallout's Brotherhood Of Steel, I actually have a real header with a cranky cartoon of me!  

Major thanks go to Josh Vilchis and his awesome designs!  Dude's never met me in person or even seen a picture of me, and yet he perfectly captured my "annoyed" look with that little cartoon. 

So seriously, if you need some design work done, shoot him an email and check him out!   Fantastic work, Josh.  Thank you so much!

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME, RETRO CITY RAMPAGE!

So finally, after months of mini-hype and delay,  VBlank Entertainment's send up of everything 1980s, Retro City Rampage, has been released.   If I recall correctly, it was supposed to come out in May, then pushed to June, then July, then just "TBA".   Almost out of nowhere, it was dropped onto the world on Oct 9th.

So how is it?  Does it live up to the hype?  Was it worth the wait?   Eh, kinda.

BORDERLANDS 2

Holy crap, I love this fucking game.

That could ALMOST be the whole review right there.  Almost.  

LATE TO THE PARTY - S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: SHADOW OF CHERNOBYL

Welcome, Stalkers, to the Zone.   An irradiated, desolate place filled with mutants, murderers, and militia, where death is invisible, and even the air can kill you.  Some come to the Zone to control it, some come to save it, while many others come to profit from it.  Some come to discover the truth behind the myths and legends.   Most never return.

Welcome to Chernobyl.

AT A GLANCE - RAYMAN: ORIGINS

Ubisoft is trying to bring platforming back into the spotlight with a revival of their Playstation-era hero, Rayman.   The cartoony French mascot debuted in 1995 and enjoyed some popularity, he hasn't been seen in his own title almost a decade.   The Raving Rabbids series began as a Rayman game, but spun off into their own series, leaving Rayman behind.   Now he's back in a gorgeous retro-styled platformer that returns to the series' 2D roots.  It's been showered with accolades by reviewers and gamers alike since its release, becoming something of an underdog success story.  This week, Ubisoft put the game on sale for 50% off, and I decided to see what all the hype was about.

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

I love Borderlands.  It's on my list of "games that never get old no matter how much I play them".   I love the world of Pandora, I love the cel-shaded art style, I love the over the top characters, and for fuck's sake I love the loot.  OH GOD, SO MUCH LOOT.   I have long since considered a craft project of making my own CL4P-TP "Claptrap" robot, and for years the text message chime on my phone was Claptrap's "HaHAAA!!!"   Needless to say, Borderlands 2 is incredibly high on my Must Buy list of upcoming games for this year.

DUKE NUKEM - DEFENDING THE DEVIL

If you're a gamer, I don't need to tell you the story of Duke Nukem Forever.  You know the old running jokes, you know the 10+ years gamers waited for it to be released.  The elation when it was finally announced, and the giant tsunami of bile and bitter hatred when it actually got released.  I read the reviews.  The forums.  The comments.  It was unanimous:  Duke Nukem Forever was the worst video game ever made.

Yeah, not....really.

BACK TO THE MINES

It's like heroin.  I can't pull myself away no matter how hard I try.  I might go clean for a little while, and I think I'm free.  But sooner or later, I get sucked back in and I'm hooked.  My life is consumed.  It permeates my thoughts and dreams.

I speak of course, of Minecraft.

FAVORITE PLACES - PSYCHONAUTS: LUNGFISHOPOLIS

Picking a favorite place in Psychonauts is almost futile.  Every single level in the game is memorable and unique, as each one is the mind of a different character.  While I'm not as big a fan of say, the 60s acid-trippy Milla's Dance Party level or Stella's Theater (although the play is hysterical), I will never forget the brain-twisting Milkman Conspiracy or the artsy-cool Black Velvetopia.  Even as I was trying to narrow it down, I had trouble choosing between Waterloo World and Lungfishopolis.  The mighty Goggalor won out.

OH, YAHTZEE...

Of all the game reviewers out there, only one continually earns my respect and actually holds any sway over my purchase of a game.  Yahtzee, that irritable British-turned-Aussie curmudgeon from Zero Punctuation, almost always seems to echo my thoughts on games we've both played, and can usually predict exactly how I'm going to feel on games I haven't.  Never before have I found a video game reviewer that feels exactly how I do, with his utter loathing for multiplayer and JRPGs, and his ability to see through the bullshit and call the games on it.  We like a lot of the same games, and we hate a lot of the same games.  I nearly wept with vindication when he spoke the words "Even if we concede to the fanboys that a Zelda game can only be judged alongside other Zelda games, Skyward Sword is the worst Zelda game I've ever played."

Though, I've noticed that whenever we disagree on a game, we disagree hugely.

RESIDENT EVIL 6 TRAILER UNLEASHED

Fuck.   YES.  

Resident Evil 6 Official Trailer

This is the first time I've really been excited about a Resident Evil release.