THE NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION, PART DEUX

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2013 - A NEW APPROACH

So I'd be shocked if anyone's reading this anymore.  My life has become a rollercoaster of chaos, as has Ryan's (my cohort with the North-South Geek Show).  We keep promising "This isn't dead!" and then not following through.  It's not for lack of trying, and not for lack of wanting to, we just can't make our schedules mesh due to the complications of Real Life.  When I'm free, he's working, and vice versa.  

So for now I am focusing on this blog, something I haven't done much of lately.   I have made a commitment to myself.   Like many PC gamers who have Steam, I have a terrible habit of buying a bunch of games when they are discounted, and then never playing them.   I have well over 200 games on my list, and have only actually played maybe 1/4th of them.   So each week, most likely on a Monday, I will play a new game, and I will do a preliminary review of it on Tuesday, and a follow-up review along with the next game on the following Tuesday.

These won't all be hot new games, or AAA titles.  Some might be much older games.  Some could be indie titles.  Some could be AAA titles a few months late.  I'm kind of broke, so realistically the only way I can do AAA titles right away would be if it was something I was really chomping at the bit to play (like the upcoming Bioshock: Infinite or GTA V).  There could be some console games in there, but to be perfectly honest, I'm like 90% a PC gamer.  

Either way, a weekly schedule will keep me going on this blog, and it'll give me an excuse to chew through all of those unplayed games I paid hard-earned money for!

HOLY CRAP WE HAVE A HEADER!

Hey look!  Instead of just text saying "The Cranky Old Gamer" and a profile icon of Fallout's Brotherhood Of Steel, I actually have a real header with a cranky cartoon of me!  

Major thanks go to Josh Vilchis and his awesome designs!  Dude's never met me in person or even seen a picture of me, and yet he perfectly captured my "annoyed" look with that little cartoon. 

So seriously, if you need some design work done, shoot him an email and check him out!   Fantastic work, Josh.  Thank you so much!

OH, THIS IS GONNA BE STUCK IN MY HEAD FOR A WHILE...

Kinda glad I didn't rush out to buy Resident Evil 6.  Most of my friends who did were not thrilled.  Reviews ranged from "Meh" to "Well that sucked", to "Not a bad game, but there was absolutely no 'survival' or 'horror'."   The single most common complaint was the overabundance of QTEs, the herpes of the gaming world.   And apparently some other guys thought so too!

I apologize in advance for the earworm...

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME, RETRO CITY RAMPAGE!

So finally, after months of mini-hype and delay,  VBlank Entertainment's send up of everything 1980s, Retro City Rampage, has been released.   If I recall correctly, it was supposed to come out in May, then pushed to June, then July, then just "TBA".   Almost out of nowhere, it was dropped onto the world on Oct 9th.

So how is it?  Does it live up to the hype?  Was it worth the wait?   Eh, kinda.

BORDERLANDS 2

Holy crap, I love this fucking game.

That could ALMOST be the whole review right there.  Almost.  

LATE TO THE PARTY - S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: SHADOW OF CHERNOBYL

Welcome, Stalkers, to the Zone.   An irradiated, desolate place filled with mutants, murderers, and militia, where death is invisible, and even the air can kill you.  Some come to the Zone to control it, some come to save it, while many others come to profit from it.  Some come to discover the truth behind the myths and legends.   Most never return.

Welcome to Chernobyl.

COMING BACK....AGAIN

I'm not dead.

This blog?  Not dead.

The North/South Geek Show podcast?  Not dead.

All just dormant due to chaos.  Ryan and I got everything going, and then shit hit the fan in both of our lives, and we both had to move and sort of re-situate our lives.  I'm now in a different city, with a different job in a different field.  It's been a hell of a readjustment.  The biggest downside in regards to this blog is that I haven't had a lot of time for gaming, but I'm trying to make time.  Mostly all I've been playing have been casual things like Minecraft (stupid 1.3.1 update, sucking me back in), along with some older titles like Darksiders and S.T.A.L.K.E.R. - Shadow Of Chernobyl*.

But I promise you dear readers, we've merely put these projects on the back burner.  They're not dead.  Ryan and I have been talking about new ideas, new structures, new formats.  Life gets in the way sometimes, but we're bound and determined to make this thing work.

Thanks for stayin with us.


* - Seriously why the hell did I wait so long to play this game?  It's awesome!

DAWNGUARD

Released this past tuesday, I have spent the past five days deeply entrenched in Dawnguard, the first expansion pack for one of my favorite games, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.   I'm not quite finished with it yet, but I already have a lot to say.  (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!)

It's no secret that I am an enormous fan of the Elder Scrolls series.   I could go on about what a phenomenon Skyrim has become, but if you're a gamer, you already know.  You're sick of "Arrow to the knee" jokes, and have Fus Ro Dah burned into your geeky lexicon.  So if you're anything like me, you have been anxiously waiting to see what kind of amazing DLC Skyrim was going to get, especially after watching the string of incredible expansion packs we got for Bethesda's last huge open-world game, Fallout 3.  And then the trailer came out, and it probably gave you a giant gamer boner, like I got.  So now that I've had my hands on Dawnguard for a few days and spent about 20+ hours with it, does it live up to the hype?

DEMO-ING DRAGON'S DOGMA

So recently there seems to have been a lot of slow-burn hype surrounding this new RPG from Capcom, Dragon's Dogma.  It was just released today, and seems to be getting good reviews.   I downloaded the demo on my PS3, and I'm sort of left wondering...did we play the same game?

THE RESEMBLANCE IS UNCANNY

I can't claim to have ever played Persona 3 due to my intense loathing for JRPGs, but now I kind of want to.  The columnists at Kotaku have uncovered some unsettling similarities between P3 and television cult favorite Buffy The Vampire Slayer.   From the sound of it, they're practically one and the same!   Well played, Kotaku...


Persona 3 Really Is Buffy The Vampire Slayer Down To The Smallest Characters 

(Though I have to admit, their assessment of Tara made me a little sad...maybe it's just that I've met Amber Benson, but I always loved her.)

AT A GLANCE - RAYMAN: ORIGINS

Ubisoft is trying to bring platforming back into the spotlight with a revival of their Playstation-era hero, Rayman.   The cartoony French mascot debuted in 1995 and enjoyed some popularity, he hasn't been seen in his own title almost a decade.   The Raving Rabbids series began as a Rayman game, but spun off into their own series, leaving Rayman behind.   Now he's back in a gorgeous retro-styled platformer that returns to the series' 2D roots.  It's been showered with accolades by reviewers and gamers alike since its release, becoming something of an underdog success story.  This week, Ubisoft put the game on sale for 50% off, and I decided to see what all the hype was about.

DIY MMO?

Just something interesting that I found via an acquaintance of mine that I thought I would share.  This is a pretty ambitious concept, to be honest.  It's a site that lets you create your own massively multiplayer online game, with full support, premade code, etc.  There is a "starter" world that you can edit, or you can start from scratch.   It's a little beyond my capabilities, I think, but it's still a cool idea.  Check it out!

MULTIVERSE - The MMO Development Program

SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!

I love Borderlands.  It's on my list of "games that never get old no matter how much I play them".   I love the world of Pandora, I love the cel-shaded art style, I love the over the top characters, and for fuck's sake I love the loot.  OH GOD, SO MUCH LOOT.   I have long since considered a craft project of making my own CL4P-TP "Claptrap" robot, and for years the text message chime on my phone was Claptrap's "HaHAAA!!!"   Needless to say, Borderlands 2 is incredibly high on my Must Buy list of upcoming games for this year.

INDIE SPOTLIGHT: DEAR ESTHER

Have you ever seen an art film or independent film where you're pretty sure no one actually likes it, they just pretend to in order to sound smart?   Honestly that's the only reason I can think of to explain the host of glowing reviews that Dear Esther has received since being released on Steam back in February.   While I would not say that Dear Esther is bad, or that I regret my experience playing it, I definitely would not shower it with praise like many reviewers seem to have.

SOMEONE SAY...TECHS-MECHS?

So there have been several new videos and  Piranha Games' upcoming BattleTech universe reboot, MechWarrior Online, and I have to be honest...they make me happy in my pants.   Those that know me know that I'm normally not one for playing online games, but with the announcement of TES:Online and now this?  This heathen may become a convert. 

SCROLL OF RESURRECTION

I had kind of given up on this blog, because after two months I didn't have any followers.   But now that seems kind of silly, given how little I advertised or spread word.   I posted to my friends and on a couple of websites, but I never really got word out there!   So I'm kicking the dust off here, and will be blogging again.   Still can't afford to review the newest and hottest games, but I definitely want to do some more indie and retro reviews, talk about topics that have piqued my interest, share funny or cool screenshots or shit I've found across the internet, and give my own spin on current gaming news.

So, what's sparking this resurrection, you probably didn't ask?   Well, now I am a part of something a little bigger than just this blog; a new independent podcast called The North/South Geek Show.  I am the South half, as I live in Florida.   My long time friend Ryan is the North half, residing in Ohio.   The N/S Geek Show is really just about two geeky buddies talking about geeky stuff.  Video games, movies, comics, whatever strikes our fancy. 

WHOOPS.

Okay so.  I haven't posted in a month.   I promised myself I wouldn't do this, but shit's been going on in my life.  Not really an excuse, but at the same time, it is.

I also have gotten zero feedback on this blog.  I honestly don't know if there's a single person reading it or if I'm just posting random words off into the ether.  I got one comment on a very early post.  Since then, no one has agreed, disagreed, trolled....hell I haven't even gotten any spam bots posting.  So I've kind of gotten this "Why bother" sort of attitude.  I am going to get over it though...and I think I'm going to change formats just a tiny bit.   I don't need to write a long multi-paragraph dissertation on every topic.  Shorter, more concise articles, links to stuff I've found online, etc.

But seriously some feedback would be killer.

DUKE NUKEM - DEFENDING THE DEVIL

If you're a gamer, I don't need to tell you the story of Duke Nukem Forever.  You know the old running jokes, you know the 10+ years gamers waited for it to be released.  The elation when it was finally announced, and the giant tsunami of bile and bitter hatred when it actually got released.  I read the reviews.  The forums.  The comments.  It was unanimous:  Duke Nukem Forever was the worst video game ever made.

Yeah, not....really.

BACK TO THE MINES

It's like heroin.  I can't pull myself away no matter how hard I try.  I might go clean for a little while, and I think I'm free.  But sooner or later, I get sucked back in and I'm hooked.  My life is consumed.  It permeates my thoughts and dreams.

I speak of course, of Minecraft.

Bah.

Sometimes, unfortunately, life gets in the way of gaming.  Sadly the most gaming I've done lately is a playthrough of the previously reviewed Crystalis, an hour or two of the old adventure game, The Longest Journey, and a new masochistic project in Minecraft.   Nothing really worth blogging about, sadly.  But expect an update by wednesday, promise.  

RETROAWESOME: CRYSTALIS

We're all dead now, apparently. 

FAVORITE PLACES - PSYCHONAUTS: LUNGFISHOPOLIS

Picking a favorite place in Psychonauts is almost futile.  Every single level in the game is memorable and unique, as each one is the mind of a different character.  While I'm not as big a fan of say, the 60s acid-trippy Milla's Dance Party level or Stella's Theater (although the play is hysterical), I will never forget the brain-twisting Milkman Conspiracy or the artsy-cool Black Velvetopia.  Even as I was trying to narrow it down, I had trouble choosing between Waterloo World and Lungfishopolis.  The mighty Goggalor won out.

OH, YAHTZEE...

Of all the game reviewers out there, only one continually earns my respect and actually holds any sway over my purchase of a game.  Yahtzee, that irritable British-turned-Aussie curmudgeon from Zero Punctuation, almost always seems to echo my thoughts on games we've both played, and can usually predict exactly how I'm going to feel on games I haven't.  Never before have I found a video game reviewer that feels exactly how I do, with his utter loathing for multiplayer and JRPGs, and his ability to see through the bullshit and call the games on it.  We like a lot of the same games, and we hate a lot of the same games.  I nearly wept with vindication when he spoke the words "Even if we concede to the fanboys that a Zelda game can only be judged alongside other Zelda games, Skyward Sword is the worst Zelda game I've ever played."

Though, I've noticed that whenever we disagree on a game, we disagree hugely.

RESIDENT EVIL 6 TRAILER UNLEASHED

Fuck.   YES.  

Resident Evil 6 Official Trailer

This is the first time I've really been excited about a Resident Evil release.

WAIT, SO WHO'S THE PIRATE?

I totally get the fight against online piracy.   I've been an online pirate since I was copying my neighbor's Secret Of Monkey Island discs back in 1993, and have never stopped.  But from the companies' standpoints, I totally get it.  I know damn well I'm doing something immoral and illegal.  I don't justify it.  I don't pretty it up.  I'm just a cheap bastard that doesn't like paying for shit, I admit it.

DEAR GOD, PLEASE LET THIS BE THE NEXT STAGE IN GAMING

Spotted on Reddit today, this is an absolutely mind-blowing physics engine being developed for movies and gaming.  I don't honestly know that this engine could even be applicable to the NEXT generation of gaming, but holy shit is it beautiful if you're into this kind of thing.

Lagoa Multiphysics 1.0

CHILDHOOD GRUDGE

It's funny how we all have little tiny hidden rage triggers in our minds.  Just a simple word or phrase that sparks some old wound from your past that immediately sends you into a fury.   As it turns out, for me those words today were "Nintendo Power Hotline".  Fuck those guys. Seriously.  I never forgave them for an incident when I was in elementary school, when the original Legend Of Zelda came out.

GAME INFORMER, I AM IMPRESSED

Things have been hectic at work, it's been tough to update.  But I had to share this.   This painting comes from a recent Game Informer article about gaming's most interesting characters.  

This is absolutely amazing.

DIRGE FOR A FADING GENRE

It came out of nowhere, shocking us.  Thrilling us.  Uniting us.  And the idea took off like wildfire, dominating the industry, firmly implanting itself into the pop culture subconscious.  It burned brightly, breathing new life into the video game industry like no one had seen before, forging an alliance between the two warring camps of Casual and Hardcore gamers.  But its star burned too fast, and companies tried too hard to milk its seemingly neverending teat, until nothing new could be drawn from it.  And now, the beast is dying.

I speak of course, of the music/rhythm game genre.

NOTCH, YOU ROCK.

Still writing my wednesday update, will be up tomorrow.  In the meantime, I wanted to share this.  Notch, developer of Minecraft, is known for being a really cool, laid-back guy.  But this is just awesome.

FAVORITE PLACES - HALF LIFE 2: THE BRIDGE

This is just an idea for a segment, kinda feeling the waters.  We all have those points in certain games that will always stick with us.  It could be a cutscene that grabs us, as they're designed to appeal to us emotionally.  But our main interaction with a game isn't watching, it's playing.  Experiencing.  Sometimes it's a whole level that enchants us, sometimes it's just a segment of one.  Sometimes it's a sub-area, since games nowadays tend to eschew the concept of "levels".  Whatever the scope, we all have parts of games that made us go "Man, you remember when you get to that part where..."

MICROSOFT, YOU ASSHOLES.

There are a lot of angry people out in the video game world who hate DRM (Digital Rights Management).  Entire message boards dedicated to the bashing of Origin, SecuROM, etc. have been around for a long time.  Hell, antipiracy methods have been raged against for decades.  To be honest though, I've never really had an issue with any DRM, beyond finding it a very minor inconvenience.   Well, until last night.

BRIEF IMPRESSIONS: L.A. NOIRE

Just nabbed the complete edition off of Steam for $13.  I have to admit, I've been on the fence about it. It's getting great reviews, but it just didn't seem up my alley.

I've been playing for two hours now.  It's....interesting. 

NOW THIS IS A TRIBUTE

This video has gone viral all over the internet, even with non-gamers, but I still had to share it.  

RIP, "Macho Man" Randy Savage.   This is truly the greatest tribute a man could possibly receive.  The boots and the hat really make the mod.

Skyrim Macho Mod 

PLANNING FOR THE FUTURE

So I've been spending a lot of my time gaming lately, but in the back of my mind I've been thinking about what kind of things I really want in this blog.  I have said I'm not going to be a review site or a news site, specifically, but I definitely want to have content that people will want to read.  So what can I do to really make things interesting?

INDIE ROYALE NEW YEAR'S BUNDLE IS OUT

Indie Royale has released their New Year's Bundle, a pay-what-you-want collection of indie games very similar to the Humble Indie Bundle.  Unlike the HIB, this one does have a minimum amount, but it's only $3.50 at the time of this posting.   All that for four games - Nuclear Dawn, Max & The Magic Marker, Fractal, and Super Crossfire! 


Indie Royale - New Year's Bundle

MY GOD...IT'S....IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL...

The Elder Scrolls games are known for being incredibly moddable...Bethesda even releases toolkits specifically for modding.  So since Morrowind came about 10 years ago, mods have been coming out that enhance the game (which sadly, did not age well).  Plenty of these mods have made graphical tweaks here and there to make it prettier.  But this...this is absolutely breathtaking.  They may as well have remade the entire game.  Check out the screenshots and weep at their beauty.

The Morrowind Overhaul

2011 INDIE ROUNDUP

Every site has done their Best Of 2011 reports by now.  Hell, most of them did theirs before the year was even over.  And most lists are the exact same list, maybe shuffled around in order.  My problem is, this has been a rough year financially, so I haven't gotten to play all of the AAA titles, or I'm just now getting to them at the end of the year. 

But I do play the shit out of indie games.  Between the Humble Bundles, the Voxatron Bundle, and the ubiquitous indie sales on Steam, my year has been flooded with indie games.  Some have rocked my world, some have filled me with loathing.  Here are some of the highlights:

THE ELDER SCROLLS ARE LIKE, DEEP, MAN...

I found this recently.   Blew my mind completely.  I've been playing TES games since Morrowind, and have sunk hundreds of hours into each game.   I knew that they had some serious history and lore, but I had no idea that it ran this deep.  This is some uber-geeky stuff, delving into the lore and philosophies of the game and cracking it open to get to a theorized gooey center.  It's very long, but very fascinating, and you might have to use some sort of illicit mind-altering drug to really get it.

GABEN, YOU'RE SUCH AN ASSHOLE

I've decided to use my first post on this new blog to address an issue that is currently really bothering me. This holiday season has been marred by a lot ungrateful, entitled people getting bent out of shape because they received free stuff, but apparently not good enough free stuff.